In response....

This is a reply to the comment of the previous post... hehe...
Thanks Nicholas for the 3 questions!! as much as it's less than 10, it's better than none! hahahah

1. What do you see in your future - maybe 5 years from now.
this question reminds me of applications.. for AI, for TNs etc etc hahaha...

Career wise: I'm interested in going into Business Process Management.. it's a field that presents itself in many job titles in the market, ranging from consultancy to risk analysis to information system to business strategy and so on. I think I'm just quite hooked on working with diverse brains to understand bigger pictures, to identify gaps and to create and implement solutions that help the bigger picture :)

social wise: I dunno about getting married by then but at the very least... have a boyfriend... I imagine my mom will be getting more and more anxious as the years go by... typical haha...
am still thinking which form of martial arts I'll be keen in by 5 years later... for now, I feel like I'm still exploring and finding a style that fits...

2. Is what you have done in the past 2 years in line to what you want to achieve for the next 5?
(Something less serious)

I think I found what I wanted to do in the next 5 years within the past 2 years... which make sense really cos part of my motivation for doing MCP full time was to have more working time to travel, to attend meetings and networking events, to understand what's happening out there, to talk to more people... and from those experiences, plus the thrill of doing all that was done in the term really helped me decide that "Yes! this is where my passion lies, and that regardless of my academic background, it is something I can achieve if I work hard at it!"

3. What is the one movie that you want to watch?
I just had a conversation with my brother that the new movies showing right now aren't attractive at all... I'm quite sure there's a list of must-watch movies that I have heard from friends but I can't remember any right now...
so the only answer that stands out in my head at this moment is... Wall-E by Pixar :)

the FBI Game

I came across this on Dey's blog (http://allingreen.blogspot.com/)

The FBI Game ~
You Have 10 Questions.
You Ask One By One And I Answer One By One with TOTAL Honesty.
You don´t have to answer any questions.
Unless you want me to ask you as well after I have answered all yours.
My goal is to get to recognize myself better through my answers to your questions.
And get to know a bit more about your perception of me through your questions.


Now isn't that quite an interesting concept? really forces you to come to terms with who you are... and it's definitely much deeper than spotlight (since that game usually just focuses on relationships)

I think I don't mind playing this... so.. who wants to ask? :)

Reflecting...

I seem to remember hearing this read to all of us then elects... in a cosy room in an old chapel building in the Netherlands....

and I remember the voices of those who read it... deep and robust...

Found it on Jorien's blog...

Brings back a lot of memories...

and instigates lots of thought as well...


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Sudden Thought...

Was reading someone else's blog about attending a wake of someone who had committed suicide... reminded me of when I heard similar news regarding a senior...

and then I suddenly thought of what I read in the book titled "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom... the story is a very simple and inspiring one about Morrie's experiences in dealing with the incurable disease eating him up day by day...

and I remembered this chapter... where the author talked about Morrie holding a "funeral" while he was still alive... he did this because he had attended the funeral of a friend... As he listened to the deceased's friends and relative speak fondly about him while he was still alive, he thought it was such a pity that his friend would never hear or know that he was so loved by those around him... and because Morrie didn't want to die not hearing all these valuable words, because he didn't want those around him to regret not having said the things they meant to say all along but they never did simply because they were too late, he held one while he was alive...

And in that small cosy session, friends and relatives gathered to share their eulogies of Morrie... they said all they had meant to so there was no regret.. and Morrie heard all of these and was able to enjoy the love and friendship while he was alive so there was no regret...

too often... we are often guilty of falling into the trap... of not saying what we really want to say to those around us... I'm guilty of that also...

I guess it really is hard... but I guess that's also why when it is said, it's really really precious...

just a sudden thought...

Thought Provoking Thoughts...

This sounds so familiar... I feel as if I have watched it on TV before... where the scenes flicker from one to another as the narrator speaks.. in a deep, rich voice... perhaps something like that from Anthony Hopkins or Morgan Freeman...

The following comes from a letter that George Carlin wrote for his deceased wife


The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less
wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive to fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up tired, read too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to our life not life to our years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are times of fast food and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Remember, to say, " I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Taking a Break... in Singapore

Yup.. back in Singapore.. it's been 6 days since I came back...

been really busy since getting back...

I landed at 10am (one hour later than supposed because of flight delay), grabbed breakfast with my Dad and Bro at the airport and headed home... unpacked somewhat, showered and went off for an AIESEC event... after that event (which was fantastic by the way), I headed off for a Chinese New Year reunion dinner with my Junior College Wushu (chinese martial arts) society... of course I was feeling super tired at the end of that day because of the travelling as well so that meant a good night's sleep, which really helped in countering jet lag...

Sunday was a day of more unpacking, clearing emails, consolidating stuff from IPM, writing report and tidying documents... I figured I should clear the stuff from IPM first before I move on to other stuff...

Monday was supposed to be back to school again but I overslept and ended up at home, clearing AIESEC stuff still, sorting out my lecture notes, downloading notes that I need to print and catch up on... looking at my Final Year Project (FYP) stuff again...

Tuesday I went back to school! spent most of the time in the library printing my notes and sorting them out... suddenly saw an email from my FYP supervisor asking for a meeting that same day and so went to meet him, without much progress since the last time unfortunately... but fortunately, he's quite nice and after a quick update from my side and quick refreshment from his side on what I still need to do, it was back to the library to finish up on the printing... then I headed back home (yes I went to school but didn't attend classes... my theory is that priority then is not to learn new stuff in the middle of nowhere but to clear the urgent school stuff first).. once home, it was back to the laptop to work on my FYP... working out equations, tweaking my programme.. and finally getting proper results at 3am... YAY!! it works!

Wednesday was spent at home again... this entire day was devoted to studying for the quiz on Thursday... I got mixed up and almost studied 3 of the 4 parts of the module... which was why I was quite panicked about finishing all that materials.. in the end, I realised my mistake and things turned out alright, since I had overbudgeted for studying time and now had more time to get the information in my head... so.. reading reading and studying... getting good news once in a while via email about FYP or other stuff... and so the day goes by..

Thursday I met my FYP supervisor again and he's happy with the results... gave me a set of new conditions to run on my programme... pretty much finalised the scope of what should be in my report (the draft of which is due next Tuesday) so at least there is clear direction now.. and that feeling of closeness to finishing with the project... after that, it was off to the library to revise for the quiz but somehow midway through that, I distracted myself by turning on my laptop.. haha.. anyway the quiz was... just alright.. could have done better I am sure.. especially if someone had told me I could bring a summary card into the room... oh well.. that's for missing lectures I guess (at least I had good learning time in Egypt nonetheless)... after that, went for a catch-up dinner with Diana and Phoebe... great to be back and hearing their stories, while sharing mine...

so yes for those of you who have been asking how has it been since getting back, I hope this answers your questions...

It's hot and humid here, the streets are suddenly very structured, the air suddenly quite clean, the people still as "unfriendly" and things seem the way they were 3 weeks back... but well.. it's good to be back...

and now.. I'm just chilling in my room.. radio on with DJ-less music again.. enjoying the moment...

cheers... =)

IPM 2007 - coming to an end

Today is 26th February 2007... tomorrow is 27th February 2007... tomorrow is the last day of IPM 2007...

and it is always from this point on that the emotions start flowing in... yes we realised that this is the last AIESEC conference that will see most (unfortunately not all) of us from 0607 in the same place... it is something we are consciously aware of and you can definitely see it in the way we value the time we can have to hang out with each other...

2 weeks... is that enough time? to catch up on the 6 months gap of not seeing each other physically since IC... to catch up beyond the MSN and email conversations that in their own little ways sustained us throughout our term...

we have 4 more months of 0607 term to go... yes it should be a celebration point, that we have made it so far... it should be a point of focus, that we have that bit left to go to leave that impact we are aiming for... but at the end of it, it is the slow closure of a story that started in the Netherlands one year back, with a bunch of fresh and anticipating elects... a story of amazing individuals that grew to love each other, to support each other and that today, can't bear to say "See you again"

Gosh I'm having such mixed feelings now... the 0607 term is coming to a close... the 070 term is coming to a start...

I'm gonna miss my family like crazy...

Update from IPM 2007, Egypt

24 Feb 2007, IPM

Hey guys!

Sorry for the long delay in updating here... I've been having a good time at IPM, getting into the 'culture' of the conference... hehehe

It has been great so far... it's great to be able to meet my fellow current MCPs and also to see the eager and passionate MCP elects from all around the world... some of these people I have met at IC 2006, some of them I have never met them before... but it is the power of the network that we can get along and have great conversations as if we have known each other for so long... I think such opportunities are what show the power of AIESEC, that young people of such diversity can connect nonetheless...

Our conference site is an amazing resort hotel next to a beach along the Red Sea.. It is 2 hours from Cairo so it's really peaceful and away from the hustle and bustle of the city... Perhaps because of that but it seems colder here... I never expected that my first visit to Egypt will see me walking around permanently in a jumper or windbreaker... but that aside, the food and venue is fantastic and really works to building a conducive environment for conversations and reflections and thinking...

In terms of sessions, so far we have had 2 intense days of speeces and Q&A sessions for the 4 PAI candidates and the 19 Director candidates... it's inspiring to see people setting up to the role, and to hear their perspectives on what motivated them, and what they think the organisation needs to continue growing and unleashing our potential... do check out http://live.myaiesec.net for videos of all their speeches... I

have been having a bit of identity crisis since I am both the elect and the current so I have been attending a mix of both tracks... and it's been great in terms of questions and discussions on what is to come, and also in terms of taking time off to be myself and re-find my centre...

In case you haven't heard the news, Gabiza is the newly elected President of AIESEC International 2007/2008. She's the first female PAI since 1998 and we are excited of what the new term will bring.. tonight (it is 7.05pm right now) we will be finding out who has been selected to be AI Directors...

anyhow, I must confess that I am still having mixed feelings about this IPM... I think it's because this is the last IPM I can spend with my current MCPs, especially those from the APGNs. They have been a great support network and have taught me so much over the months, and I know that I will miss them so much... at the same time, there is the excitement of bonding with a new group of MCP elects, from which I will gain support across the next few months just as I did with the currents...

but well... I don't think I will dwell too much on that... they tell us here... "When it starts, it starts. When it's over it's over. Whatever happens is the best that can happen"

So... it's just time for me to enjoy the moment and these precious days...

Reflections...

Some people have been asking me how it feels like.. to be running again for MCP of AIESEC in Singapore...

Well I can say for sure that it was quite a journey...

In the 40 mins that I stood on stage (for my speech and then my Q&A session), so many images flashed through my head and it was like reliving so many memories again, yet imprinting new images into my mind...

My speech took me back to a Lecture Theatre in NUS 2 years back, the imagery then and the things I said to plenary... my speech took me back to a Seminar Room in SMU last year, where I was so nervous, so sure and yet unsure of myself and the path I had chosen to embark on... it took me back 8 months at MC transition and MC planning, when my current team promised to ourselves what we wanted to leave as a legacy for our term... it brought me back all those times since then and all the little joys I experienced along the way as I saw progress and results...

The question and answer session took me back to almost 1 year ago at IPM, a conference which left such an impact on me and gave me the confidence and ideas of how I wanted my term as MCP to be like... it took me back to those fears I felt as an elect, worried about expectations and the shadows of those before me... it took me back to Oct last year when Ryan from AI came for country visit and I sought his inputs on various matters... it took me back to a time when the members of the MC 0607 team were so unsure of themselves and how each and every one of them have grown to be such inspiring and capable individuals today...

So many memories to relive, images to recapture, messages and things I wanted to tell everyone...

and at the same time, so much hope for the images that will be captured from now on with the 0708 elects team... in the space of 2 weeks, these individuals went from being unsure at Meet the People sessions in the LCs to being able to give fantastic speeches at Elections itself... and it makes me so excited of how far they will grow in the months to come...

Looking forward to the rest of 06/07, and to the start of 07/08!

__________________________________________________

just wanted to say this... I was talking to a friend over MSN on the morning of the elections and he said
"if there's one thing i'll say to you.... it's just make it an election you want
you don't have to worry about getting elected... you just have to worry about express yourself however.
how do you want your election to look/feel/sound"

I think... I like the way it turned out... and I like the fact that I am that bit more expressive than I used to be =)

And so 2007 arrives...

There we have it... It is now the year 2007!

Another year has gone by just like that, and as always it seemed just like yesterday when we were counting down to 2006...

I've been sitting in front of my laptop since 9.30pm working and chatting and thinking about stuff... and now that most people are offline... guess perhaps it's the time for some reflection...

let's see... where do I start about 2006?

I think 2006 has been a very "crowded" year... crowded in the sense that so many amazing people entered my life in this year... from elections in Jan, to IPM in Feb, to transition and planning in June, to AGM in August, to IC in August, to Jump Start! Induction Conference in September, to NLDS preparation in Nov, to NLDS itself in Dec... at every stage, I met new people who have left footprints in my heart... and for that I am grateful... Thank you for coming into my life and leaving that mark whether you realised it or not... your presence makes a difference to me =)

I think 2006 has been a year of ups and downs, of learning and overcoming challenges... what with school and AIESEC (especially as MCP), the ups and downs are a lot more intense than previous years in AIESEC... yet these ups and downs make the role challenging and bring more learning points for myself... they have taught me a lot about about the way I react in various situations, about what I value, about what keeps me running...

In 2006, I learnt a lot more about myself as an individual... I found my own style of facilitating and motivating people, I found a new openness in the way I speak and express myself, I found simple things that I value and that make me happy, I found solace in the network of friends around me... I have grown as an individual, becoming more sure of myself and the role I play in life... I found that I can make that deeper connection with some people, and that the paths I choose are only as lonely as I make them out to be...

In 2006, I learnt that the past is something we can never forget entirely and that sometimes, it "resurfaces"... but I learnt that things always move on, and that we can only become stronger over time... I learnt that no matter if the past was of sweet or painful memories, these memories stay and further shape us as individuals...

In 2006, I learnt that the future is indeed full of uncertainties, and that some decisions are harder to make than others... I experienced first hand that some decisions meet more resistance from people around me, people who are unable to put themselves into my shoes and try to see things the way I do... yet from this, I decided to put myself into others' shoes and I come out with even greater respect and admiration for the decisions some of my friends have made...

In 2006, I experienced happiness, excitement, fear, apprehension, anger, stress, helplessness, pain, jealousy, confusion, relief, peace, gratefulness, love, curiosity... a myriad of emotions, and which makes me feel even more alive...

I am glad to be alive.. I am glad to be alive through the whole of 2006... I am glad for 2006...

It has been an amazing year... and I definitely look forward to 2007 being another year to remember...